"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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