i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
