i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Life is so much better after having sex.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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