im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My vagina just recognized that song.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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