um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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