After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
