Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
