what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I will pee on everything he values.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
