i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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