i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
