I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
