nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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