We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
