reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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