He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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