okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
