As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
