Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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