3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
