he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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