PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
