She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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