I am in a vortex of obligation.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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