I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
