Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
