I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
