ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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