went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
