Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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