Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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