So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
