yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
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