if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Randomize
