He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
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