If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
