you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
