fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
