Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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