My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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