I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
