Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Your penis caused this!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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