you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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