This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
