my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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