We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
