i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
