i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
