Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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