somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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