Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
