I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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