Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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