thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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